I want to introduce you to an old friend. But here’s the thing: I don’t actually know her in the sense of…um…having shook her hand and split a cookie in a cafe. I stumbled upon Amber through another friend’s blog and immediately fell in love with the way she strings together words, bares her failures with candor, and achingly loves her husband and children. She is candid with her struggle to love and forgive herself. Who doesn’t know how that can feel? The way she tells a story has brought me to tears, clad in pajamas and hunched in front of my computer with a cup of coffee and a purring cat wrapped up on my lap. I am green with envy of what feels like her effortless poetry and her rich life in embarrassing, hushed secret, not even daring to leave a comment after a particular confession or memory has made me swallow my breath and say “wow, that’s how I feel”. I admit I enjoy falling in love with her words from afar; it feels special that a stranger opens my mind when I least expect it. I’ve copied and pasted a little taste of her storytelling prowess here in this post. Enjoy!
Our neighbor was my mama’s grandmother, and she sent Erin and me there, to our Mama Lois, and we ran to her house, bare feet slapping, alternating from the scorching black-top road to the thistled grasses lined with saw briar and honeysuckle-twined maypops and bitterweed.
We ran there for Dr. Pepper and Starbursts and wore her girdles, fur hats, gloves, and clip-on rhinestones. We were fancy there, high heeled, and we thought of Elvis in Hawaii. I sounded out romance novels, ears turned hot, the “b” sound – bulge, bosom.
Once, on the way home, I ran onto a tree stump where a green snake flipped in the air. There my heart changed, racing wild, though I knew not to be afraid. Once, on the wall of roses, a blue and red bug bit and shocked my arms numb. No day without a little blood, a little tobacco-spit rubbed into a sting. No day without discovery: a yellow jacket hole, unearthed glass, willowflies heaving in the shape of a barn.
The country taught me to love the pounding, the fear of a spanking, the sound of blood rushing – ears in the bath water, a diesel-engine always backfiring through birdsong, that breathless second just before breaking the short side off the wishbone.